Josh Hamilton Looking for Next Team to Stress Out

This morning, MLB Trade Rumors continued the speculation with a short piece on where Josh Hamilton might end up. Texas Rangers? Boston Red Sox? Chicago Cubs? It’s slightly surprising that anyone cares anymore.

Hamilton finished the 2012 season with a slash-line of .285/.354/.577, 43 home runs and 128 RBI, but who in their right mind wants to take on all the smelly garbage he brings with him?

Lucky for Hamilton, there are plenty of General Managers who are not in their “right minds.”

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His numbers this year aren’t bad considering he was listed as day-to-day five times during the season, and pulled from a game once for being “exhausted.” The reasons:

April 29th, 2012 Back stiffness
May 28th, 2012 “Exhausted”
June 16th, 2012 Intestinal virus
July 6th, 2012 Lower back spasms
September 13th, 2012 Sore left-knee
September 23rd, 2012 Sinus problems

These aren’t major injuries, but they’re the type of injuries indicative of someone who doesn’t take care of himself. Who’s going to pay $15MM a year for a player who doesn’t know when to take a nap if he’s tired, or blow his nose when it’s runny. Either Hamilton is to blame for these setbacks, or the Rangers team of doctors and trainers are simply incapable of handling him.

Somehow this year, Hamilton, never ended up on the DL, or in a night club, with his shirt off, asking around for coke. Also, this year, Hamilton was able to steer clear of the media, and he went on to have a good season, like he is capable of having. Only the Baseball Gods know what Hamilton might have done if he hadn’t been fickle all year. Note: next time Hamilton is out looking for coke, he might simply call Manager Ron Washington – might spare himself the media mess.

Our question is, which team thinks they have what it takes to babysit this guy, wipe his butt, help him out of bed, blow his nose? He’s more than just a baseball player, he’s a boy who needs love. Just look at those eyes. He could be the greatest of all time if only someone would give him hugs when he needs them, and make him French toast when he’s “hungee.”

The Rangers have had it with Hamilton, and if they have any wits left after losing two straight World Series, and getting bounced by the Orioles in a one game playoff, they will not offer him the purse a handful of other teams are likely to offer. Rightfully so.

Hamilton is a superstar, but he brings something else to a ball club; he brings worry. Something tells me that manager Ron Washington spent a better part of the season wondering whether the best hitter on his team was capable of playing. And of course, there was the whole month of July where Hamilton hit .177 with 11 RBI and 4 HR.

Note to Red Sox General Manager Ben Cherington, don’t do it.


Stats courtesy of New York Post,

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