Miguel Cabrera Wins First Triple Crown Since ’67

Prince Fielder, Miguel Cabrera

Miguel Cabrera of the Detroit Tigers has sealed the Triple Crown tonight in Kansas City, forever excusing him for being drunk on the side of the road in Florida during ’11 Spring Training, and forever forgiving him for threatening diners at a BBQ, and forever excusing him for fighting with his wife in 2009.

Honestly, I’m actually excusing him for these things. Tonight, I forgot all about it, and you should too.

Alright, it doesn’t excuse him. But if you’re anything like us, it sort of does excuse him; all we care about is baseball.

I don’t want to hear about “drinking problems” and “anger management.” I want to hear claps. I want to hear tears smacking the ground. I want to hear gasps and sighs of disbelief. I want to hear the complaints of people who maintain that baseball is boring.

For the first time since 1967, a baseball player has the most home runs, best batting average, and the most runs-batted-in. I feel sorry for anyone out there still hanging on to the dream of Football taking over as the American Pastime. Baseball has jerks, but it also has heroes (rarely spoken of around here). The NFL has heroes, but not to this extent and, their jerks are epic.

I’m not sure if Miguel Cabrera realizes how momentous his achievement is — that goofy smile on his face didn’t fade even during his curtain call in Kansas City.

Every so often, Baseball Jerks salute the good, and not the bad or ugly.

Here’s to you Miguel Cabrera, Triple Crown Winner. Now, don’t be a jerk.

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Tomas Laverty
Tomas Laverty, frequent contributor to the MLB section, runs a Detroit web design company called Detroit Spaces.