We Need To Talk About Jared Cook
You’re racking up credit card charges that’ll make you wretch in January, you’re drinking to excess and humiliating yourself at holiday parties every weekend, and Jared Cook is about to become fantasy relevant again. It’s December. Think of Cook, a physical specimen at 6-foot-5 and 249 pounds who runs the 40 in an astounding 4.5 seconds, […]
Get Out of Here With Your Elite Defense
The most offensive strain of fantasy football dogma might be defensive. In a convention hall full of fake footballers last August in Atlantic City, the thinking was everywhere, infecting everyone like some End Times plague: We must, at all costs, draft the San Francisco 49ers’ defense, for there is no other defense that can pray […]
Three Ways to Avoid Thursday Night Fantasy Disaster
Bench Garrett Hartley. That’s about it. It’s going to be hard to mess up this one, dear reader. We have two offenses that run on high-octane gasoline and cocaine, one defense that has proven laughably bad through most of this season, and another that has looked increasingly vulnerable of late. The Saints-Falcons showdown on Thursday […]
We Need To Talk About Dallas Clark
It’s time for Dallas Clark hipsters to come back to their guy. The owners who, in late 2007 and throughout 2008, latched onto the tight end running seam routes for Peyton Manning’s well-oiled Colts machine and watched him catch 100 passes for 1,100 yards in 2009, should consider hooking up with the old man one more […]
C.D. Carter Opens the Discussion on Fantasy Football Addiction
The discussion on fantasy football addiction got a fresh set of downs Tuesday morning. Thanks to C.D. Carter. Carter, fantasy football expert, and writer for XN Sports and The Fake Football went semi-viral today after his piece “When Fantasy Football Becomes an Addiction” was published this morning on the New York Times NFL blog “Fifth Down.” […]
Avoid the Thanksgiving Day Massacre
I’ve been there – you’re going into Turkey Day, locked in the heat of a lethal fake football playoff battle with your buddy or coworker or college friend who snuck his way into your keeper league and has proven a genuine douche bag over the first 11 weeks of the NFL season. You’re ready to […]
We Need to Talk About Vick Ballard
You may remember Vick Ballard from his role as Neo from “The Matrix” during his inhuman dive into the end zone against the Titans in Week 8. The dude contorted his body and scored the most incomprehensible touchdown of the year. He showed a lot on that run, including a little wiggle and surprising acceleration for […]
Three Ways to Avoid Thursday Night Fantasy Disaster
The populist movement known as #FreeCJSpiller reached its apex a couple weeks ago, when the electrifying Buffalo Bills running back was averaging more than seven yards a touch, mowing down defenses at will, while head coach Chan Gailey insisted on maintaining an even timeshare with infinitely less talented backfield mate Fred Jackson. Nothing against Jackson. […]