Grow up Manny Machado, the World is Not Out to Get You

Dear Manny Machado,

Wait, let me restart that.

— — — — — —

Hey kid,

What’s your problem? You’re what, 21 years old? Last time I saw someone acting like you they were eight.

Sometimes, in baseball, you get tagged out, hard. And, you know, Josh Donaldson didn’t really need to tag you because you were flying off the basepath. Now you’re flying off the handle and giving millions of people no choice but to take you for an imbecile.

Sometimes, in baseball, you get buzzed inside by a pitch. Sometimes, it happens after you’ve been a jerk to someone on the other team.

Sometimes, in baseball, catchers get hit by a backswing. That’s normal. Problem is, some of us think you did it on purpose, twice. That’s not normal, Manny.

So, let’s see, you threw your helmet at Donaldson because you didn’t like the way he tagged you. Maybe you hit Derek Norris with your backswing because you were still upset. And, that’s it, right?

No, that’s not it.

You threw your bat. Your baseball bat. You threw a baseball bat, very hard, at another player. You threw a heavy, dangerous object at another human being. No one knows whether or not you were trying to injure Fernando Abad when you threw that bat, but you almost injured the third baseman, Alberto Callaspo.

You threw a bat at another baseball player, on purpose. Pretending like it wasn’t on purpose makes you look even dumber, and you look pretty dumb already, so here’s my advice: grow up. Try, with all your might to remember the hard work and patience it took to get to the Major Leagues. If perhaps for some reason you didn’t have to work very hard to get there, then you should consider that as well. You’re talented, and you could make a lot of money. But having a lot of money isn’t going to do you any good when nobody likes you (see A-Rod). Right now, some people might still like you (I can’t understand why). So, take that into consideration before you throw heavy items at people.

And, if you think you’ll be forgiven because you’re 21, you’re wrong. 21 years-old makes you a man. You’re supposed to act like a man now.

Manny, now is the time to wipe that smirk off your face and play the game with respect. Also, I might suggest some anger management, because in the long run your sad behavior is going to catch up with you.

Don’t appeal your five-game suspension. Just accept it. Accept your faults and move on, and if you’re lucky, all of us baseball fans might forget about the stupid things you did when you were young.


These views do not reflect the views of XN Sports.

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Tomas Laverty
Tomas Laverty, frequent contributor to the MLB section, runs a Detroit web design company called Detroit Spaces.