Ellsbury: I’m a Yankee, So What?

Come on people. Like you didn’t see this coming?

Remember Johnny Damon? I thought that was a saying in Boston.


I’ll tell you what. He’d sign with the Yankees.

I don’t see the problem here. Turning coats was invented in Boston.

Boston is all about traitors.

Benjamin Franklin? Born there. The ultimate traitor.

Spearheaded the whole revolution.

Plus I heard he got around. Quite a way with the ladies. Dude was married. Didn’t hear of the open-relationship ’til like the 1800’s, so what gives?

You guys bailed on England back in the day. Some of you even signed the Declaration of Independence. You took pride in that.

Same thing I just did. Only instead of John Hancock or Samuel Adams, I had Scott Boras.

Besides, I signed with the Yankees. That’s what those flat-beer-drinkers in London called you back in the day.

I’m tired of the metaphorical taxes, the spiritual throwing of the tea overboard.

Stop mentally tarring and feathering me.

You should be grateful. I gave you my heart and soul for the two years I wasn’t hurt and I won you two World Series.

Seems like a good deal to me.

Take the barbecue stain off your shirt and the hate out your heart.

I wouldn’t have paid more than $100M for me anyway.

A speed guy in his late 30’s? Doesn’t anybody remember Carl Crawford?

Kidding. You can forget that funny joke.

I caught a deer when I was a kid.

With my own two hands and a rope.

I’ll wash up when I want to.

That deal’s a steal.

Stop looking for things to feel angry about.

Stop looking for jerseys to burn.

Stop seeking. You are always seeking.

Massachusetts? Where’d you get that name from?


What are you really thankful for?

author avatar
Horace Smith
Horace Smith writes about sports and the universe with a healthy dose of cynicism. He's based in Portland. !function(d,s,id){var js,fjs=d.getElementsByTagName(s)[0],p=/^http:/.test(d.location)?'http':'https';if(!d.getElementById(id)){js=d.createElement(s);js.id=id;js.src=p+'://platform.twitter.com/widgets.js';fjs.parentNode.insertBefore(js,fjs);}}(document, 'script', 'twitter-wjs');